Hey y'all, I'm Chris. 21. The University of Texas at Austin. #HookEm! History, Government, and Economics major. I am chocolate and chocolate does melt. But I'm also fun and spontaneous. Holla!

 

Fastest way to get through a border patrol checkpoint

(Source: videohall)

inquisitioned:

There are people telling funny history stories and I wanted to tell my favorite! 

Okay, so. When Napoleon invaded Egypt, the Egyptians wanted to get in his good favor, so they sent along two teenage girls to him for him to use as he pleased. Napoleon was disgusted, because um, no, and he was madly in love with Josephine. So he sent them back. And, well, the Egyptian ministers must have misunderstood. 

Because they sent back two ten year old boys.  

(Source: inquisitories)

williamlately:

Wendy Davis. Free us from our Republican run Texas government. MHYSA!

damecatoe:

"By far, one of the best scenes in the book is where Kaling writes about the photo shoot she and Office co-star Ellie Kemper did for People’s Most Beautiful issue. When the stylist brought a trailer full of size zero gowns, Kaling found herself crying in the children’s bathroom of the public school where the photo shoot was happening. In the bathroom stall, she discovered a smear of what looked like excrement and a child’s graffiti: “This school is bulls–t!” which made her a) laugh and b) demand that the stylist alter one of the gowns to fit her. In the end photo, she’s smiling in a gorgeous fuchsia dress that the stylist had to rip down the back and alter with canvas. Looking at beautiful Kaling, though, you’d never know. It’s a sweet moment of chubby girl victory.” (via afterellen)

pattilahell:

So I’m hoping that by the time I die, technology has advanced enough to where a gif can be incorporated on a gravestone so I can have the “Somebody’s getting fired hey hey!” one on mine ^_^ please and thank you to all my friends who outlive me.

5265ad:

Me: So you’re telling attendance isn’t needed to pass this class

Professor: Well I guess you could just email me every assignment and final and pass

Me: You dun fucked up bruh

m-cklemore:

lmao-nope:

so.. you americans want to know what its like in canada…..

Americans still won’t know because this is in Celsius

vinebox:

Then there’s always this family member who say this every family reunion

(Source: vinebox)